she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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