To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this just has baby written all over it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
