He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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