Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just pee around me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
