Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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