So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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