Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Found the puke drawer
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
