i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
