I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
