I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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