Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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