i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
