have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize