i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is the high leading the old right now
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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