If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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