singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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