Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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