I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
