just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
