Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
