I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
