Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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