It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
