Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
