My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
only if we run a train.
done.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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