Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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