No awkward lesbian experiences without me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
