Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
