I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
