And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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