Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize