The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
