Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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