Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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