i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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