I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize