PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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