This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
