I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
