I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
