Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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