I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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