Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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