someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
