areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i came on her dog
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm both gender and math confused
Congratulations! We have a period
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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