let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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