just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
