just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
