At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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