Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
