He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize