Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
