The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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