I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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