just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
