I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
