okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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