Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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