We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize