your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
