I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
