I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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