Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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