i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
