they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
